That Quote & A Hospital

The Gandhi quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

Sometimes this quote feels like pressure— like right now— I’m painting several pieces for a chemotherapy treatment center.

The change I wish to see in the chemotherapy world is for every patient to live. With hopes of painting images that will inspire and uplift a person’s healing process as my goal, I keep asking myself what it means to live. 

This morning I woke up wishing I could find a way clean (I mean, really clean) the grout between the old Spanish tile on my floor. I wished I could find words to open a conversation with a someone who hurt me and now refuses to speak to me. My wishes felt impossible and ridiculous. Is this living? I thought about it so much, I hardly noticed I was breathing. 

The answer is yes. Yes, I am impossible and ridiculous— and I am alive. Although my grout is permanently stained and I may never have the conversation or receive the apology I believe I’m due— I am alive.

Life is rarely as bright as my paintings, but were I not alive and were I not impossible and ridiculous, I may never have painted. I may never seen the brightness I am capable of creating.

So go paint! Or do your own version of painting. . .

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Painting image: “In Time We All Became Stars,” Acrylic on canvas, 65×55 inches, Rachel Kice, 2019. Available.

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